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"STRANGERS IN PARADISE: IMMORTAL ENEMIES" PART I BY TERRY MOORE ADAPTED BY HEATHER CLISBY Last Updated: 21
January 2005 SiP CHARACTERS Principals Katina "Katchoo" Choovanski: Karen Soo Hoo Francine Peters: Natalie Saibel David Quin: James Hampton Darcy Parker: Taylor Ray Supporting Roles Freddi Femur: Geof Godard Chuck: Paul Dougherty Rachel Hampton: Anne Stone Sal Tuscanni: Geof Godard Tambi Baker: Heather Clisby Detective Mike Walsh: David Greene Darcy’s Staff: Pilot/Butler: Heather Clisby Maid: Anne Stone Sharon, Katchoo's assistant in NYC: Anne Stone Mavis Wallis: Monica Sullivan Newsroom: Marshall Weinstein: Paul Dougherty John Crosby, Editor in Chief: Russ Hickman Bit parts: Newscaster: Russ Hickman Marilyn Bran: Monica Sullivan Party attendees: Everyone Francine/Chuck’s co-workers: Anne Stone and Geof Godard Waiter: Geof Godard Mail Guy: Russ Hickman Priest: Russ Hickman INTRO MUSIC FOR PART
I: "Things That Scare Me" by Neko Case ANNOUNCER Good evening. Welcome to Shoestring Radio Theatre. We now present Part I of “Strangers in Paradise: Immortal Enemies” based on the graphic novel series by Terry Moore, directed by Heather Clisby, produced by Monica Sullivan at Western Public Radio in San Francisco. SCENE 1 - FX: Breeze, birds, soft sounds of girl talking, giggling. FRANCINE (Voice Over) Okay, picture this: Somebody points out an elephant in your living room and this is the first time you’ve seen it. So you’re standing there, wondering how an elephant got into your living room when it hits you. He must have been there all along. Today, I saw an elephant in my life and it was like an epiphany! I mean, I’ve always chased the All-American dream, y’know? A husband, kids . . . stuff like that. But the harder I tried to get it, the further it slipped away. And for me, there was never any Plan B. If it hadn’t been for Katchoo, I don’t know what I would have done. Katchoo gives me the only hug I get at the end of a bad day, asking, "Hey, Francine, how was work?" The only loving smile, the only gentle caress. Can you blame me for being grateful? For accepting comfort from another woman when every man on the planet seems to have orders to screw me over! And she never asks for anything. I’ve spent my entire life looking for a man like that . . . but I found a woman instead! So, it must be love, right? And when you’re in love you’re supposed to do something about it, right? Only I could never quite bring myself to take that last big . . . final step. Then I saw the elephant. SCENE 2 - FX: A somewhat distance sound of a hot, steamy shower running and a door slamming. CHUCK Rachel? My car won’t start. Honey? Where are your car keys? Babe? FX: Goes to bathroom door, knocks softly.Rachel? FX: Opens door, shower
sounds dominate for a moment, then shuts the door. (To himself) Hmmmmm. Now where does she keep those car keys? Ah, here's her purse. (Louder, speaking absentmindedly to Rachel) Wow, your purse is heavy! What do you hide in here, Rach, a gun? (He finds a gun and pulls it out of her purse, stunned.) Omigod, it is a gun! RACHEL (Grabs the gun from him) You should be more careful . . . Chuck. FX: Various gun-loading sounds throughoutYou never know when a firearm might be (ka-chung) . . . primed. CHUCK (Gulps nervously) You always carry a gun? RACHEL You always go through my purse? CHUCK Uh . . . no. No, I was just looking for your keys. RACHEL They’re on the kitchen counter. CHUCK Uh-huh. (Pause.) Thanks. RACHEL Chuck? CHUCK Y-yeah? RACHEL Next time . . . ask. CHUCK (Meekly) Sure. Sorry. FX: Final sound of Rachel loading the gun clip SCENE 3 - FX: Pots and pans and kitchen noises throughout FRANCINE . . . and then she goes, “Well, I don’t see how you can be associated with someone of such questionable character!” KATCHOO What’s her name again? FRANCINE Rachel. Rachel Hampton. KATCHOO Never heard of her. FRANCINE I know! And I was like, ‘Who do you think you are?’, y’know?! But I’ll tell you what, it made me realize nothing’s going to come between us, Katchoo! I mean, nobody’s going to change the way I feel about you. Not Rachel, not my mother, not even David! KATCHOO Good. FRANCINE (Excitedly) I feel stupid even talking about it, but I think I’ve been so afraid of losing your friendship, I’ve been trying to talk myself into doing something that I know I just can’t do! Gosh! Isn’t this great?! I just feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders! KATCHOO (Quietly) Oh yeah. FRANCINE Okay, so first thing tomorrow I’m going to call around and try to find somewhere else to stay! You know, get us out of the one room matchbox. Being on top of each other like this just makes everything . . . well, complicated. I mean, I can afford it now, what with my new job and all. Doesn’t that sound good to you? KATCHOO Oh yeah, this just gets better and better. Francine, listen . . . I don’t want you to feel like you’re under any pressure about this, y’know? Don’t rush into a decision, okay? I mean, I want you to be happy. FRANCINE Oh, I know! And the minute I realized I was trying to be somebody I’m not, it was like I woke up from some kind of bad dream or something! KATCHOO A bad dream. (Heavy pause.) AAAAAAARGH!!!!! FX: A cacophony of crashing dishes and broken glass FRANCINE Aaiee! FX: Katchoo is panting
heavily from anger and cups are still bouncing on the kitchen floor KATCHOO (Slow, with boiling anger) All this time . . . Everything we’ve been through together . . . It’s all just been a bad dream for you. FRANCINE Oh, no! I didn’t mean . . . KATCHOO THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID! FRANCINE Katchoo! I didn’t say that! KATCHOO No. But that’s what you meant. The fact is . . . I dream of you, and you have nightmares about me. FRANCINE That’s not true! Please don’t say stuff like that! Don’t even think that! Katchoo? Hey! C’mon . . . it’s me, Francine! I love you! Katchoo? SCENE 4: NARRATION FRANCINE (Voice over) Katchoo writes the most beautiful . . . I don’t know what you call it, but it’s beautiful. Not poetry. I mean, you’d never know it to hear the way she talks sometimes. But then there are times when she can’t talk at all. When we were in school, Katchoo used to sneak into my room late at night. She’d smell of liquor and her body was all beat up. She wouldn’t say a word. I’d just hold her until she stopped shaking. When she slept and her frown disappeared, I always wished I could talk to her at that moment because I think she would’ve told me what she was going through. And what she sees when she looks like this. I don’t think it’s ever really possible to know exactly what somebody else is going through. When I first met Katchoo her eyes didn’t look like this. So tired. So sad. She acts so tough all the time and she is! I don’t know anybody with her willpower. Which is scary because to me that just goes to show you how much she has to use it. You know, the strongest part is the most active part. I guess I think y’know, who am I to judge? I know I’m all screwed up. My family’s screwed up. Everybody’s screwed up. But maybe that’s why I love Katchoo so much. She keeps trying, y’know? I mean, a lot of people just give up or go with the flow. Katchoo . . . she keeps trying. SCENE 5 - FX: Diner
sounds, low music, dishes, low conversation KATCHOO I don’t know, I give up. FRANCINE Agh! Katchoo! KATCHOO Well, look at me! Is there anything I haven’t screwed up?! I’m an alcoholic painter with no job . . . FRANCINE Recovering alcoholic. KATCHOO No money . . FRANCINE Stash in Switzerland . . . KATCHOO No friends . . . FRANCINE You have me! KATCHOO Besides you. FRANCINE David. KATCHOO No friends. No cat . . . FRANCINE Hold it! Okay, what is the deal with David, huh? You guys had a fight, right? What was that all about? KATCHOO (Slurping on a straw) I was defending your honor. FRANCINE I’m serious. KATCHOO We both wanted to see other women. FRANCINE Katchoo! KATCHOO Alright, alright. I kicked him out. FRANCINE Why? KATCHOO Because I realized we were never really friends to begin with, that’s why. Besides, the last thing I need is for some guy to come along and try to worm his way into my life. I told him that the day I met him, but he just kept coming around, reading that asinine poetry of his. FRANCINE Oh God forbid some nice guy wants to be with you. KATCHOO That’s not what I meant. Did you know he’s a Christian? FRANCINE No. KATCHOO I didn’t either until yesterday. FRANCINE Make sense though, doesn’t it? I mean the way he acts, y’know. He’s so . . . decent. KATCHOO Don’t you think that’s the kind of thing friends should tell each other? FRANCINE He told you. KATCHOO Finally! A whole year later! He didn’t think enough of me to tell me! FRANCINE Oh. KATCHOO Besides, he was really starting to creep me out. He knew all these weird little things about me. Private things. But I didn’t know anything about him. He never told me anything. FRANCINE Well, maybe he was just more interested in you than him. I wish I could find a guy like that. KATCHOO You don’t understand. FRANCINE Katchoo, I’m sorry but so far you’ve just described a guy half the women in America are looking for. KATCHOO Well, they can have him. FRANCINE (Pause) I’ll take him. KATCHOO Huh? FRANCINE Hey, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him. He’s better than anything I’ve been able to come up with. Of course, that’s not saying much. KATCHOO Get real. FRANCINE No, I’m serious. I think he’s cute. Of course, I’d have to make some changes. Get him out of that 60s John Lennon look, more into an Eddie Bauer thing. KATCHOO What?! FRANCINE Oh, you know, just clean his act up a little bit. And he’ll tell me everything by god or I’ll make his life a living hell! I don’t care how hard it is for him to talk about it. KATCHOO Talk about what?! FRANCINE Oh, you know, obviously he had a traumatic childhood. He has all the signs. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was an abused child. But hey, you already know that, don’t you? I mean, you were the one he was trying to open up to all this time, for cryin’out loud. You know how deep some things are, and it’s just impossible to get them out? It all gets jumbled up inside. Love, hate, nightmares . . . dreams. Then you meet somebody you think will understand, but you don’t know what to say. Then you’re afraid to say anything. KATCHOO (Begins to cry) Oh god. (Shaking) I have to find him. FRANCINE Just call him. I doubt if he’s out on a date. KATCHOO No, he’s gone. Moved out. Disappeared. I’ve been looking everywhere for him. FRANCINE Oh Katchoo. KATCHOO I only know one more place to look. SCENE SIX - FX: Sounds a large person sitting in a creaky wooden chair, a man puffing on a cigar SAL It’s merely a matter of convenience, Darcy. (Puffing on cigar) Times are changing. You know that. The fat days of campaign fund control are gone. Everybody and their mother’s watchin’ it. DARCY I’m not pulling out of Washington, Sal. I’ve spent too long setting every thing up. Give me a couple of months. Let me see what I get on Henneman. SAL (Puffing, thinking) I’ll be honest with you, Darcy. You’re makin’ us nervous. That whole Chalmers thing was embarrassing. I covered for you once, but now you got this Henneman deal going ‘ . . . Everybody’s holding their breath, and you pull your decoy out! DARCY Something important came up. I . . . I needed her elsewhere. SAL You got something more important than runnin’ the country? DARCY It’s only temporary. I’ll put her back in. She works fast. SAL I thought the whole idea of them people was to blend in from the fringe so the target never sees it comin’. You yank her in and out of these set ups and somebody’s gonna make the connection! DARCY Are you telling me how to run my business, Sal? SAL I’m telling you to be careful, Darcy. That’s all. Be careful. (Puffs) You’re already under Federal investigation! You got everything on the line. Don’t screw up company business with your personal problems! I gotta go back and tell ‘em you know what you’re doing. That you didn’t pull your decoy out, she just went on a business trip. A very short business trip. I have to tell ‘em that, Darcy. Otherwise you got no future. DARCY Sal . . . We’ve known each other a long time . . . SAL That’s why I’m here. But you screw up in Washington and there’s nowhere you can hide! Do we understand each other? DARCY Sure, Sal. I hear you. You won't be disappointed with the results. I promise. SCENE 7 - FX:
Footsteps walking up a hallow, cement stairway, two guys breathing heavy CHUCK Ah, a little bit of racquetball . . . good for the soul. And the ego! Eh, Freddie? (laughs) Hey, by the way, that Fineman brief’s due Tuesday, Freddie. Come in and let me give you what I’ve done so far. FREDDIE Up yours, Chuck! (Puff, puff) Well? Aren’t you going to open the door? CHUCK Wait a minute. Let me get my head together. FREDDIE Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? CHUCK I don’t know, man. Lately, Rachel’s been acting kind of . . . strange! Scary . . . . FREDDIE In what way? CHUCK This morning I found a gun in her purse. FREDDIE A gun? CHUCK Yeah! And she has this weird thing about Francine! I can’t figure it out, but we had lunch with her yesterday and Rachel just ripped into her for living with her roommate, Katchoo! FREDDIE Hey! My kind of girl! CHUCK I don’t know, man. You should’ve been there. She was cold. It was disturbing. FREDDIE I’m telling you, Chuck. That’s how nature works! The more beautiful the creature, the more deadly! Think black widows, Chuck! Black widows! CHUCK Dude! What are you so bitter about? You don’t sound like a man who just got married! FREDDIE Oh, well . . . Casey’s different. CHUCK Uh, huh. FX: Keys rattling in a
door FREDDIE I’m just telling you . . . as your best friend . . . watch your back! Okay? Watch your back! CHUCK (Sarcastically) Thanks for the pep talk! FX: Keys rattling, door opening CHUCK Hey, Rachel! There’s my girl! RACHEL Hi. CHUCK Sweetheart, you remember Freddie, don’t you? RACHEL (Sweetly) Oh yes . . . the married man who keeps Francine's bikini in a drawer! CHUCK (Ahem) Well, wait here, Freddie, I’ll get that brief. FREDDIE (Nervously) So . . . how’s it goin’, Rachel? RACHEL Fine. FREDDIE Good. Good. (Awkward silence) You and Chuck getting along? RACHEL Mm-hmm. FREDDIE Uh, look . . . I really hate to bring this up, but I thought you should know, you seem like a nice girl . . . Chuck’s been keeping a few secrets from you! And, well . . . I know how much that upsets you! But, uh . . . I thought you should know. (Pause) Uh . . . I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m here for you! If you ever need somebody to talk to. RACHEL Freddie, y’know, I’d love to, I really would, but . . . I don’t think I could keep from biting! FREDDIE (Gulps) Uhhh . . . yeah . . . I hear ya . . umm . . CHUCK (Approaching) Here Rachel, the cell phone in your purse was ringing. I thought you’d want to answer it. RACHEL Oh! Uh . . . CHUCK (Nervously) Here you go, here's your purse! She’s all yours! RACHEL (Whispering) Hello? Yes, ma’am! FREDDIE (Aside) Hmph. You can keep her . . . CHUCK Huh? FREDDIE Uh . . . nothing. Thanks for the brief. I'll look it over. Catch ya later, dude. CHUCK See ya tomorrow, Freddie. FX: Door shuts RACHEL (Whispering) Would you repeat that, please! (Pause) But I’m so close! One more day is all I need . . . DARCY (Over the phone) No, Veronica. I need you back in Washington right away! Just walk away and be back on the job in DC by morning. It’s okay, we’ve had a sudden change of plan anyway. RACHEL (Sighs) Okay. CHUCK Oh man, I don’t know about Freddie and Casey. I give ‘em maybe a year, max! FX: The final beep of a cell phone, flipped shut, Rachel sighs CHUCK (Nervously) We should have them over sometime. RACHEL CHUCK You could make your famous lasagna! (Laughs nervously. Pause) Whoa! I’ve never seen that look before! Rachel? FX: Packing sounds: a suitcase being pulled down, drawers being opened, clothes thrown about CHUCK Hey, I wasn’t knockin’ your lasagna, honey. I love your lasagna! You know that. What are you doing? Why are you packing? Are you going somewhere? Rachel! What’s going on here?! Look, I think I deserve some sort of explanation here! You don’t just get up and walk out on people without an explanation! This is insane! I don’t believe this!!! You’re just walking out?!! The last four months mean nothing?!! RACHEL!! FX: A loud slap and a body falling to the ground, teeth being broken RACHEL (Deep and cruel) Touch me again and I swear to God I’ll kill you! CHUCK (Moaning and groaning, unable to articulate) Ugh! Ugh! RACHEL You should be grateful, Chuck! I’ve given you an incredible gift! Someday you’re going to lay beside your snoring wife and think about me! You’ll stare at her back and try to remember every inch of me . . . CHUCK Ungh! Ungh! RACHEL And I’ll always hate you because you can! CHUCK Agh! FX: A final whack and
a body drops to the ground CHUCK (Whimpering in pain) Rachel . . . ugh! Ugh . . . . ugh! Rachel? . . . Why? RACHEL (Low and mean) You have no idea how lucky you are. FX: Door slams SCENE 8 - FX: Airport sounds, overhead announcements, bustle of people movement throughout AIRPORT ANNOUNCEMENT This is our final boarding call for Continental flight number nine to Los Angeles. All passengers should be boarding at this time . . . KATCHOO Number nine, number nine, that's me, number nine . . . FRANCINE (Voice over) Okay, so there’s this elephant in your life. So you convince your best friend to talk to him. Because he belongs to her. And even though you don’t always see him, you know he’s always there! Remind her of the past, throwing shadows in your way. So she walks away and they close the door and it’s all you can do to keep from running up and beating it back open with your fists. Because you know the elephant is dead. AIRPORT ANNOUNCEMENT Final boarding call. Flight Nine to Los Angeles departing immediately. FX: Airport sounds continue FRANCINE (Voice over) But she has to see for herself, because as long as you’ve known her, your best friend has been a little girl walking through a graveyard. And now all you can do is wait for her to come out on the other side. FX: Airport sounds
continue, a door shuts, then sounds fade out SCENE 9 - FX: Office noises, typing, conversation, phones ringing FEMALE CO-WORKER Good morning, Francine. Did you hear the news? FRANCINE What news? FEMALE CO-WORKER Rachel’s gone. FRANCINE Gone? FEMALE CO-WORKER She didn’t come into work this morning and the word is she’s not coming back. Olivia is furious! FRANCINE That’s kinda weird. FEMALE CO-WORKER I know. First they move her in, then they move her out. FRANCINE They? FEMALE CO-WORKER Our parent company, Packard-Yerr. They sent Rachel here about four months ago and told Olivia to fit her in! She did good too, considering she had no experience. FRANCINE (Talking absentmindedly to herself) God, isn't there anything on TV at all? TV NEWS ANCHOR And finally, on a lighter note . . . Robert Henneman, the popular young senator from New Jersey, raised a few eyebrows today at an impromptu press conference when he announced he is engaged to be married! The senator, who was voted one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People this year, told reporters he proposed to girlfriend Beverly Pace last night when she returned after a four month separation. Senator Henneman was considered by many to be the leading Republican candidate for the next presidential election, until the untimely death of his wife, Barbara, in a tragic automobile accident last October. Now, with the beautiful Miss Pace at his side, the senator might once again find himself walking down the aisle . . . all the way to the White House! Insiders say we could be witnessing the dawn of a new Camelot! FRANCINE Rachel?! TV NEWS ANCHOR And that’s our news for tonight . . . FX: Phone rings FRANCINE Hullo? KATCHOO (Over the phone) Hey, I made it to L.A. What’s going on? FRANCINE Katchoo! Omigod! You won’t believe what I just saw on TV!! Rachel! I swear to God, I just saw Rachel on the 5 O'clock News! She’s engaged to a senator! KATCHOO A senator?! Tell me what you saw. FRANCINE It was Rachel! But they said she’s uh . . . Beverly Pace, and she just got engaged to this senator whose wife died last year in a car crash! God! I knew there was something weird about her! KATCHOO I thought Rachel was living with Chuck. Maybe this woman just looks like Rachel. FRANCINE No! It’s her! They even said she’d been gone for four months, exactly how long she’s been with Chuck! And today at work, they said she quit! She left yesterday with no forwarding address or anything! Our parent company, Packard-Yerr, put her there four months ago and- KATCHOO PACKARD-YERR?!! FRANCINE Yeah, why? What? KATCHOO AAAAAAAGH!!!!!! FRANCINE Katchoo? Katchoo? Katchoo?! KATCHOO Crap! Crap! Crap! FRANCINE Katchoo! Tell me what you know about Packard-Yerr! KATCHOO Packard-Yerr’s an anagram, Francine. It’s (sigh) it’s not important, okay? Look, the news doesn’t come on here for another couple of hours . . . I’ll watch it and call you back, okay? What station are you watching? FRANCINE ABC. KATCHOO Okay, I’ll call you back tonight, okay? FRANCINE Okay. I love you. KATCHOO I love you, too. FX: Phone hangs up FRANCINE (Mumbling to herself) Anagram. Anagram. FX: Pencil writing furiously on paper FRANCINE Gasp! O . . . mi . . god. (Whispers) Darcy Parker! SCENE 11 - FX: Sound
of rustling bushes outdoors KATCHOO (Voice over) The saying goes, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Well, duh. How about something a little more useful? Like, live with power long enough and you get careless. Darcy Parker is probably the richest woman in America. She’s also the most wicked woman I’ve ever met. And trust me, I don’t say that lightly . . . I used to live in Hollywood. I thought I’d left all this behind me. Darcy, her stucco mansion in Beverly Hills, the pink flamingos, the sun and the sex of the tragic rich. I thought I could run away and hide among the sheep of suburbia, that ocean of clones with its media mentality and docker uniforms. I swear, it was like being in a really long episode of ‘The Prisoner!’ If it hadn’t been for Francine, I would have cracked up a long time ago.. . . (sigh) Francine. God, I wish that would work out. If only we had more time. But Darcy found me. I guess I always knew she would and like a nightmare, I knew she’d never leave me alone again. Nobody walks away from Darcy Parker and lives happily ever after. At one time . . . Oh God, I can’t believe I’m saying this . . . once upon a time, not so long ago, I was Darcy Parker’s lover . . . and closest confidante. The point is, she found me. I should have known something was up when this guy, David, walked into my life and wouldn’t leave. I mean, no amount of abuse or indifference turned him off, he just clung to me like a child with those big soapy eyes that watched me like a forbidden landscape. When I found out he was Darcy’s brother, I could have shot him. I knew no man could really be like that. Not unless he’s hunting! Or he’s a decoy or a D.U.C.K. D.U.C.K. means Deep Underground Capability. That’s what Parker Girls do. They infiltrate the target’s life from the most unexpected, untraceable angle. Then they either strike or control the target. Usually it’s an influential public figure, like a senator positioning himself to run for President. I have to watch the news tonight and see if I recognize Rachel. Francine doesn’t know about D.U.C.K.s, but she brought up another possibility that stopped me cold . . . maybe David is for real, and maybe he won’t talk about his life because it’s too ugly to look at. Maybe he’s been so badly abused he’s an emotional cripple. There are basically two types of abuse victims in this life . . . those in recovery, and those who aren’t. If David needs help, I can’t turn my back on him. I just can’t. That hit a little too close to home for me. So, the million dollar question is, who is David? Is he a cry in the night, or just very good at his job? Either way, I’m here for him. Because, depending on what I find out . . . I plan to either save David . . . or kill him. (Pause) SCENE 12 - FX: Bushes rustling KATCHOO (Voice over, slightly whispering) When Darcy updated her security surveillance for this place, I was in charge of the contracting. I made sure there were enough blind spots to allow me to move in and out of the property without being detected, and Darcy never knew. Hmph. Careless. Hmmmm. Darcy and David in the garden . . . wish I could hear what they're talking about . . . DAVID I feel funny in these clothes. DARCY You look good in Armani. You always have. DAVID I look like a gigolo. DARCY I can’t have my own brother walking around looking like a delivery boy, now can I? DAVID Can we talk about Katchoo now? DARCY I’d rather talk about you. When are you coming into the business with me? DAVID Darcy, you use sex to manipulate and destroy people! What kind of business is that? DARCY The lucrative kind. Where do you think all the new money comes from in this world, dear boy . . . charity? DAVID What you’re doing is wrong. DARCY What I’m doing allows you to walk around gardens discussing philosophy. You know, little brother, you were a lot more fun before you found religion. DAVID Darcy, about Katchoo . . . All I want is for you to give me your blessing with Katchoo. DARCY I can’t do that. DAVID Why not?! DARCY Because I’m not finished with her yet. DAVID I love her, Darcy. DARCY Get over it. DAVID I think she could love me too, but we need to be able to talk to each other! DARCY You love an illusion, David. You don’t know her like I do. DAVID We’ve all made mistakes. DARCY No . . . Katina didn’t make mistakes. That’s what made her so brilliant! DAVID So you’re not going to help us. DARCY David, be reasonable. You can have your pick of any other girl I have! DAVID These aren’t toys we’re talking about here, Darcy! They’re human beings! DARCY It’s funny, you sound more like father every day. DAVID Fine! Laugh at me! I don’t care! But I’m going back to Katchoo and tell her everything! And maybe, just maybe, if I’m really lucky, she’ll give me one more chance to show her how much I really love her! DARCY (Fiercely)That’s enough! I’m tired of this adolescent fantasy! Katina Choovanski is not a little lamb who’s lost her way! Maybe you think you’re in love, but I guarantee you she’s not! She’s a lesbian, David! A cold-blooded, murdering lesbian who specializes in things you can’t even imagine!! DAVID Okay fine! Forget me! I won’t go near her! Just let her go and . . . and I’ll come into the business with you! DARCY You have no idea what you’re asking me! DAVID Darcy, please! I’m begging you! DARCY NO! Back off! FX: Angry heels
clomping away, bushes rustling KATCHOO (Voice over, whispering) Dammit! I’m too far away to hear what they’re talking about but David and Darcy’s little stroll suddenly turns sour. Darcy stomps into the house, screaming at the top of her lungs, with David barking at her heels like Mrs. Peters’ little yip-yip dog. He probably wants to borrow the helicopter for a hot date. I watch them disappear behind the windows and try to decide whether to move in closer or go back to the motel. The news comes on in twenty minutes and I really want to see this ‘Rachel’ Francine is freakin’ over. I can still hear them yelling in the house. It’s tempting . . . but I should leave. Now that I know where David is, I need time to think. Plan my next move. It’s important that I keep the element of (sudden bush rustle). . . surprise? FX: A deep thud – a
heavy log on a skull, Katchoo groans and then goes quiet SCENE 14 - FX: News
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